Expansion and Contraction
Life is a continual cycle of expansion and contraction.
Contraction can take many forms. It's the ostrich with her head in the sand. It's a dog with his tail between his legs. It's Peter when Lumbergh swings by to ask him if he got the memo. It's when I clench before a steep ski turn, end up in the back seat, and flying out of control. Contraction is avoiding deep conversations at the office holiday party. It's defensive. It needs to win. It needs to be right.
It feels tight. I can feel my heart space become dense and dull.
Expansion is open to life. It's my calathea plant opening its leaves in the morning to receive the sunlight. It's noticing when my coworker is having a bad day. It's being on a date with someone and I just want to soak up their energy. It's when I lean into a ski turn on a steep slope and feel the exhilarating rush of flying downhill in control. It's the feeling of attunement in partner dance. It's curious. It wants to understand. It wants to be delighted.
It feels warm, open, and inviting.
Contraction is surviving, expansion is thriving.
Contraction isn't always "bad", and expansion isn't always "good." Contraction is designed to keep us alive in a world full of potential threats, to protect our energy from that toxic uncle. Its goal is to not let in things that will harm us energetically, emotionally, spiritually, or even physically.
Before I went through my trauma recovery my life was dominated by contraction. My environment was not set up for me to thrive. I was in a marriage with little intimacy and the relationship itself left me feeling tight, defensive, and lonely much of the time. Work was no different. I didn't understand what boundaries were, or how to set them. My nervous system was miscalibrated so part of the reason for the contraction was to protect myself from activation that would take hours or days for me to recover from.
Now, after a few years of healing, growth, and changing my environment I live in a state of expansion more often than not. I far prefer it here. Colors are brighter. I feel optimistic about the state of the world. It feels like a runner’s high, but without the running!
Noticing when I'm in expansion vs when I'm in contraction is one of the most useful signals for where I'm at in relation to my environment. If I'm in contraction, it may be that something in my environment is unsafe. It could also be that I would prefer to be in expansion instead. Maybe there's a judgement or a trauma response bubbling up that I can bring some warm, loving attention to. Being sensitive to these two types of energy allow me to cultivate more of what I like, which is the free, open, bright, thriving experience of expansiveness.
What are ways that you notice expansion and contraction in your own life? How do you respond when you notice contraction or expansiveness? Let me know in the comments!
Mmm, this one’s near & dear to me.
My work (individually & as a father) is currently centered on softening into contractions & giving them space to move / melt.
The tactic I’ve found supportive is a somatic tracking of the whole system followed by a “zooming” out into the surrounding sensory field.
When myself/ my daughter work with this there tends to be a trend toward “expansion” (I usually refer to it as uprightness). Typically our contractions are coming from a myopic (me-centered) space. Brining the focus into what’s actually within & then refocusing to include a broader spectrum of the beyond has been VERY helpful in navigating contractions for us.